Make Your Own Love Altar
I love sex. I love talking about it, writing about it, reading about it, and having it.
I also love writing in general, mostly on the topics of sex and sexuality, feminism, and "alternative" lifestyle choices. (I always want to ask "Alternative to what?") I work in the sex industry as a sideline, I'm a sex educator and self-proclaimed expert, a Witch, neo-feminist, mother of two, and wife to a supercool guy.

Through the years I have chosen to participate in a wide variety of relationship styles including polyamory, monogamy, singleness-by-choice, and celibacy, and see the benefits that each held for me. I'm a queer identified sex-radical, married to the father of my kids, and my husband and I are committed to egalitarian child rearing, career development, and in clear communication in our primary relationship and beyond.

I was raised practicing what I term "Organic Paganism," and have steadily expanded my areas of interest ever since.
I consider myself an Eclectic Spiritualist, with roots in Anarchism and Existentialism. I find that "Do What Thou Wilt shall be the whole of the law" comes the closest to Anarchism of any religious dogma I've yet seen, and "There is no god where I am" pretty much encompasses Existentialism. So, sometimes I consider myself a Thelemite, although I'm most definitely not a Crowleyite. (That said, there's no one quite like the Whore of Babylon to make a woman feel proud of owning her sex.)

In this column you can expect to see commentary on current affairs (pun intended), sex and love tips, rituals, spells, and occasionally, gossip. I intend to cover topics including sexual health, sexual initiation, making love last, communication, intention, and identity, to name a few.
I hope that you enjoy reading this column as much as I intend to enjoy writing it!

Make Your Own Love Altar!
Who better to love than yourself? (Take that question however you want to.) Here is a great way to invest some time, energy and devotion in the person most important to you - you! Make an altar to yourself and your sensuality/sexuality. Set your altar up somewhere you will see it often, but make sure the space is private enough that you will feel comfortable leaving it up when company is over. On top of a dresser or any other surface in your bedroom is a good idea, but if that is too public, you can set it up in your closet. Too private? How about your living room?

These considerations are likely to change depending on what sort of energy you are trying to invoke. If you're going for a general sense of loving well-being, your altar is bound to take a different shape than if you are trying to invoke raw lust. Your comfort level in dealing with fielding any questions that might come from friends viewing this altar are, therefore, likely to change as well. Use your own judgment - you know best how "out" you want to be about your sexual magic!

3 Steps to a Personal Love Altar

Start with Color.

Begin by laying down an altar cloth to use as a base. Use whatever color altar cloth makes you feel like a God/dess of the Sensual Arts; red works for me, and I often add yellow for power, or conversely, I use black for depth and entering the mystery. For an "all purpose" love altar red is usually best, but if blue turns you on instead, use it!

Gather Ritual Objects.

Next, gather any things you can think of that make you feel sexy and sensual. Some musts include:
   · A mirror
   · Flowers, (dried are acceptable, but fresh is much better)
   · Chalice filled with water
Choose your objects depending upon the sort of love you are trying to create in your life. Want smoldering sensuality? How about some musk oil, a red feather boa, and chocolate? Want to get more comfortable with your sexual anatomy? How about a penis candle (yes, they do exist!) or vulva painting? (If you are in the mood to splurge, try one of the luscious Velvet Vulvas available at www.artgoddess.com.) Want to conjure some sweet, innocent self-love? Make yourself a Valentine card and put it up next to your mirror. Deity statues are always useful for any altar. In this case, you may wish to find a statue or photo of Aphrodite, the Greek Goddess of Love and Beauty, or Eros, the Greek God of Love and Sex, (his name is the origin of the word erotic) and give Her /Him the center of the montage. Even better, use a photo of yourself and put Aphrodite on one side and Eros on the other.

Find the Time to Use It!

Now you have the altar. Here's what to do with it; every evening (the time of Venus) spend some time with your altar. (If, for whatever reason, evening doesn't work for you, then do this ritual whenever you can/feel the need to.)

Begin by unplugging your telephone/pager or whatever might interrupt. This time is for you! Now refresh the water in the chalice; breathe; ground. Offer whatever God/dess you are working with a sip of water. (One way to do this is to take a sip of water yourself, while imagining yourself as embodying the God/dess in question. Or pour the water into your favorite plant, or onto open ground.)

Take in the images before you: the God/dess, the mirror (remember, you are the God/dess!), the flowers, the colors, the deity statues. Now imagine the love you are growing as a color. Visualize that color as a small orb in your heart chakra.

Breathe.

With each breath, visualize the orb of light expanding. Let it expand until it fills your physical body, and then your psychic body; then let it fill the room, and then let it spill out over the world, and then let it expand out to the universe, blessing all beings with your own special kind of love.

Another way to use your altar is as a reminder that self-love is good love, and use your time in front of your love altar to masturbate. Remember - it's sex with someone you love! Stay Sexy! I love to hear reader comments, so drop me a note at one-sexy-mama@mindspring.com.

LaSara FireFox is a freelance writer who lives in the wilds of Northern California. She has two extremely smart daughters and a very open-minded hottie of a husband. Department of Shameless Plugs: LaSara offers workshops on sex, sexuality, flirtation, communication skills, magick, and consciousness. Visit LaSara's website at www.one-sexy-mama.com to learn more about what she has to offer and how to get her to your town; or, to join her e-newsletter list, drop a note to SexyMama-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.