Dear Battered in Baton,

You have two problems to solve. The first is to help your friend survive her mother's persecution. The second is to preserve your friendship with her.

So long as your friend is a minor (under 18), her religious freedom is going to be hard to achieve. In most communities, what Mom is doing would not be considered abusive enough for a court to warrant "emancipating" your friend. On the other hand, Mom does not sound like someone who would react well to an information packet from the Covenant of the Goddess to ease her fears.

For the time being, the best thing your friend can do is to go find ways to practice her faith that will not be obvious. One way is to use more subtle symbols: instead of a pentagram, she could arrange pictures or items representative of the four elements and spirit in her room. If she just "happens" to have a picture of the ocean on the west wall, of a forest in the north, etc., and a rainbow mobile hanging from the ceiling, who could object? A little historical study should turn up a variety of images that will not immediately set off alarm bells when seen by the average person. Working in the garden or walking in the woods looks (and is!) pretty innocent. You can say you are honoring the Creator without specifying what Deity you have in mind.

As for what you can do to keep from being banished - I advise protective coloration. Are you willing to compromise a little for the sake of your friendship? Leave the black clothing and weird jewelry behind when you visit; propose activities that (apparently) have nothing to do with religion. And when you are in Mom's presence project blessings from the Goddess - rather than hostility. After all, she's almost certainly just misguided rather than actually malevolent.

Hang in there. Eventually you will both be out on your own, and no one will be able to tell you what to believe.

Dear Influence,
I can't count the number of people I've met who are Pagan now in part because they had Christianity shoved down their throats by their parents. Thank Gaia we have a choice!

Your friend could spend the next year or three pretending to go along with her mother, but WHY? Mom's neurosis is absolutely not, your friend's responsibility; she can't - and shouldn't try to - make it better.

That being the case, unless Mom will agree to some sort of therapy or neutral intervention (unlikely) your friend should really consider trying to keep as far away from her as reasonably possible. Can she spend more time in after school activities, or get an after-school job?

You only mention Mom. Is Dad around? Is he someone your friend can turn to, or even live with for a while? How about aunts, uncles, or grandparents? Does your school have a social worker she can talk to? (Obviously, if these people are prone to wearing "WWJD" paraphernalia, she should walk quickly in the other direction.) Don't suggest your friend try to leave home unless she has a safe place to go; as awful as things are for her at the moment, at least this is a nutcase your friend is familiar with. (The variety of insanity on the streets would blow your mind.)

Pray, ask for protection (perhaps from Freya if your friend is eclectic; Branwen if she prefers a Celtic pantheon), ward her bedroom and definitely put a lock on the door, and see if there are any adults in the local Wiccan scene that would be willing to be a mentor (there may not be, as many groups will not even talk to minors without written parental consent). Your friend is going to need all the help she can get. Stick by her, support her, and don't get too caught up in her mother's ramblings.